Nothing new....

I haven't posted in a few weeks, but mainly because I have nothing new and exciting to say. It seems every week I was oh yeah! Down three pounds! Oh no! Gained three pounds! So I thought I would spare you of my up and down three pound story. I think I may just have to break down and join weight watchers after the new year. Seriously, something has to be done. I mean I don't feel like I am GIGANTIC but I do feel like my butt and thighs have been over extended. It's so hard to find pants, I mean the waist usually fits ok, IF I can get them up over the hips! I keep wanting to go get some new clothes, but my husband reminds me every time I mention it, "you said no more new clothes until you lost weight" I know I know!!! Thanks for reminding me, dear. I haven't been on the scale in awhile, but like I said before, I am sure it is nothing exciting. My clothes don't feel any looser, so can't be anything exciting...
Let's just make it through the end of the year, even though 25 pound goal is now out of sight, and make a resolution to shed some pounds.... like the rest of the world always does!!! Only this year, don't lie to yourself about it and really stick with it!!!

Here I am again....

Well I am back to my exciting 239... I can do this, I can. Even with Thanksgiving two days away, I know I can try to control myself. Holidsy season is such a challange, but I have made this a big enough challange since I started so what's the difference now??? I pig out when I want, so Thanksgiving is no different... I did buy some jeans and get my haircut, and I am feeling good about myself, and I will say, although the weight is not coming off as much as I wanted it to, it really helps to feel good about yourself in other ways, like clothes or a new haircut. It gives you that extra umph you need to say to yourself, I feel this good now, imagine I how I will feel if I have this new outfit, new hair, and am 5 more pounds lighter!!!

Yo-Yo

Up and Down Up and Down, back to where I started. blah.

Doing better

I didn't have time to post yet this week, but I did weigh in on Tuesday and was actually down in weight, back to 139. I have really been focusing on the whole mental part of why I am eating. For example, if I think I need to eat after my husband leaves, I think long and hard about if I am really hungry, why I want to eat, why I choose to eat what I am thinking of eating...etc. It's actually worked! And the other day, I wanted to stop and get some cheese sticks soooooooooooo bad at Sonic or Arby's, I knew I wasn't really hungry, I just wanted the cheese and grease. Anyway, I had to make a conscious effort to switch lanes of the road so I was in the opposite lane as the entrance of the Arby's or Sonic. It worked, I didn't get the cheese sticks...lol Seriously though, it's hard to be conscious of what you are eating, when you are so use to not thinking about any of it and just eating to eat because you like the taste or are bored or whatever. It sounds silly that I have to actually think and justify why I am going to eat, but when you never realized why you ate before it's actually really shocking when you start asking yourself before you open your mouth and insert food...lol

Sigh...

Didn't even bother to get on the scale... I know it isn't a loss, so why depress myself. Seriously, writing about my absolute NO progress every week, how much more aware can I get that what I am doing is not working??? I am obviously ignoring the fact that I need to try harder... there I said it, are you listening to your fingers???

Stuck

I feel stuck. I am losing my hope of ever being thin. Maybe this is the weight I will be forever. I don't want to be, I mean, my knees hurt and I seriously can't stand the overflow above the button of my pants. None of my clothes look cute anymore. I don't know where to find my motivation. I keep saying I don't want to be a fat mom, but I can't seem to get anywhere. I feel so tired after working all morning, then coming home and taking care of the baby, I just can't seem to get on my gazelle or do any exercise. And the gazelle is so easy and easy on my knees. I am just exhausted. I have done a few things right, I am not pigging out late in the night when my husband goes to work, I have done really well not having a lot of 'carbs', I have been drinking my slim fast for breakfast again and bringing what I feel is healthy lunches to work. I am cooking at night and not eating junk or fast food. I seriously just need to focus on exercise. I told myself 25 sit ups, I couldn't even stick to that. I need some motivation from someone, anyone, is there anyone else out there that feels like they are fighting a losing battle?!?!?!
By the way, I was 243.5 today when I weighed. I usually weigh in the morning right when I get out of the shower, but today I just weighed and it is almost 6 at night... does it make a difference when I weigh? I wish...lol

Back to square one

Well, I weighed in this morning, and good news is, I lost three pounds, the mediocre news is, I am back to square one at 240lbs. I am back to my slim fast for breakfast, which I totally slacked on last week, and my husband and I are trying a make-shift Adkins diet. We are cutting pasta, potatoes, rice, and white bread out of our diet. I have really gotten into cooking lately, so it's kind of fun to find new ways to cook veggies. I am a lover of veggies, except peas and brussel sprouts, so I think I can handle a diet without the carbs. Although I LOVE pasta. My husband thinks that it's not really our diet that is keeping my weight around, it's the fact that I don't exercise at all. I am going to do 25 sit ups a night to start. It's something I can do in bed, and it's not an outrageous request of myself. I'm still going to try to reach my goal by the end of the year, although I know I have really got to make some changes now to meet the goal.

Week Three Weigh In

A loss last week, a gain this week. Hello 240's what an unwelcome sight. But I knew this would happen. I have not exercised, I have not cut back on salt, I have not drank more water. Do I really even want to lose this flab around my waist and this huge rear that barely fits in my pants?
If anything, this blog is helping me to realize all the things I don't do. I mean, I can say I want to lose weight all I want, I can say I am dieting all I want, but to really look back and read what I have done to accomplish anything, it helps. Before I had nothing to hold me accountable, just saying I couldn't lose. But this blog helps me to say well, if you did this or that, then you would lose weight! I can do this. By the way, I weighed in at 243 this morning.

4 more days till another weigh in

Well, I think I did ok with the fair in town. I didn't eat anything that was deep fried, well, I had fried mushrooms, but that wasn't as bad as say, a fried twinkie, or a fried candy bar... etc.. I am hoping that all the walking that was done with the fair will pay off. My only problem now is the tortillas sitting in the kitchen, and the oil sitting on the stove waiting for me to fry them up... curse my husband for getting my absolute worst food temptation!!! LOL!! I had tortillas and nachos for dinner tonight... ugh. I was doing so good! Well, I am not giving up. I have 4 more days, and all I need is two more pounds to come off. Seriously, if I could just change my salt habit up, I KNOW I could get two pounds off. It's the little changes, and as I sit here writing this, I am thinking that this means I am conscious of what I need to do, so if I don't do it, I need to figure out why...


I went to get a sweat suit today, was excited to get some more elastic pants since I can't wear maternity...lol I'm not really wearing maternity still, but those jeans with the expanding belly area are the best things ever invented, it was really hard to give those up! I wanted to actually buy some new jeans today, but I decided I would wait until I lost enough weight that I could fit an 18, and it not be tight. 18... that is depressing, but gotta start somewhere. My goal is to get into a 12 or 14. I mean that is not so unrealistic!! I could have said 6 or 8!! (But why get my hopes up...lol) Anyway, I'm excited to wear my new comfy jogging suit tomorrow... maybe the attire will motivate me to take a walk...

2 FOR WEEK 2!!!!

I am proud to report, I weighed in at 238.5 this morning! I lost my two pounds for the week. I am still behind 2 from the first week, but I can make that up. I have to admit, I was really scared to get on the scale this morning. I mean, I had not exercised at ALL. I told myself I would walk, because I really did enjoy the ONE walk I took last Friday. But I haven't done anything exercise wise. I have however, been a lot more conscious of what I am putting in my mouth. I have cut out the fast food, made healthier meals, stopped (for the most part) pigging out when my husband was asleep or at work, and have done a fairly good job sticking to the slimfast. If I add exercise and cut back on my salt, and drink more water, I think I will be in GREAT shape for weight loss. It all takes getting use to, and no one changes over night, so I am going to just go at my body's pace. I can say, I was trying to drink more water, and that is HARD to do!!! I don't know why drinking water is so difficult? But yeah for me and my two pounds, hopefully I will never see them again. Hopefully I will never see anything in the 240 range again! Hello 230's!!!

Friday Free For ALL!!!

I wish free for all (especially with all that fried fair food in town now!)... I have been eating really well this week. But that walking I was talking about.. ummm... no comment? I almost weighed this morning just to see, but I didn't, last Friday I was down a pound and a half and got a little over confident I guess, so this time, I am not going to peek. I actually was feeling thinner today, until I put on my jeans. At least they buttoned, even if it was a struggle. Don't you hate when you have a pooch above AND below your button on your pants??? sigh....

Not possible

Well it is Tuesday... time for my first week weigh in... the results... a GAIN of a half pound. Yes you read this right, somehow, I managed to gain back the pound and a half I had lost a few days ago, and add another half pound to that.
I know what must have happened was Mexican food, Monday night too many chips and salsa. Not to mention I had forgotten my slim fast and snacks for the day, so all I had eaten was a lunchable, and was STARVING by the time I got to dinner. I even walked a mile last night trying to get that last minute push....
All I can do is keep trying, I am going to add a daily mile walk in everyday. Especially since I have to lose 4 pounds this week to make up for last week. I have my grapes and celery for snacks today, and my slim fast and lunchable for lunch. I am off to a good start for a new week.... I am not discouraged by my gain, I am motivated...

Could it be?

My first official weigh in isn't until tomorrow, that will be my first full week of this diet thing. But I took a sneak peak on the scale yesterday and was excited to see I was down a pound and a half. Hopefully the ramen noodles I ate late last night didn't ruin that! My goal, 2 pounds a week. Can't wait to see the result tomorrow!!!

Two Days Down

Well, I have two days down, and I am struggling. Tuesday night, the day I started this blog, was a disaster. I did so good all day, had my slim fast for breakfast, a lunchable for lunch, slimfast for snack... all good... then I got home from work and my husband went to bed, and I went to the kitchen. Do I dare say what I did??? Why not, it may make someone feel better about themselves and their dieting disaster... Anyway, I came home and made a whole bag of pasta, topped it with eggplant, mushrooms, and zucchini. (I did saute them in olive oil!!! Never mind the three large scoops of butter I put in the pasta!) I let that sit for quite awhile, knowing I shouldn't eat it. While I was giving my son a bath, I had two.. TWO bagels with cream cheese, still trying to talk myself out of the pasta. After I put my son to bed, I did it. I didn't eat it all, I would have if I could have! I saved some for lunch the next day, but I ate a lot nonetheless.
Ever since my husband was put on the graveyard shift, I have not been able to control myself when he either goes to sleep or goes to work. Self control... it's KEY. And I have to find mine!!!
What I have to do (besides find my self control) is change my story... I was watching The Biggest Loser, (by the way, I knew I weighed as much as some of those contestants, but I always convinced myself I didn't look the way they did... they must be really short people to look that big and weigh the same as me!!! Right???) Anyway, Jillian said to one contestant that she eats because that is the story that plays in her head. Just like with me, I have it programmed in my head that my story is I eat when I am alone... I have to change my story.
My husband was off Wednesday night and is off tonight, so I won't be tempted to pig out with him there. My story has been changed and I will do fine Friday when he goes to work...I'll let you know this weekend if that story is fact of fiction :)
This is hard... sigh...

THE FIRST DAY

Today is the first day of my blogging on my body. My goal is to have lost 25 pounds by the last day of 2009. I have been overweight for the past say, ten years at least. I started gaining in college, like a lot of people do. It's weird how we can look at ourselves in the mirror and not actually see ourselves. I mean, I never thought I was that big, until I started seeing myself in pictures, yet I still ignored the fact that I was gaining. Last year I was pregnant. What a crutch that is to being overweight!!! Even though I did not gain that much during the pregnancy, 4 months after the birth of my son, I am bigger than I have ever been.
Here I am weighing in today at (gulp...) 240 pounds

Yesterday I started the slim-fast diet. Hopefully this will help me control my portions. We try so many different diets, when really the key is obvious, eat healthy, normal portions, and exercise. (WHY IS THAT SOOOO HARD!!!) I actually like the slim fast shakes, and since I am not a breakfast person, this really helps me to have something in the morning. It also helps to have it for lunch, instead of going to fast food or eating some junk out of the vending machine at work. Slim-fast also has a website that is making it easy for me to track my food intake and the amount of calories, fat, sugar, protein, etc. I am putting in my body. If you are interested in doing slim-fast with me, I just started yesterday!!
Here is the web address www.slim-fast.com
It's free and so helpful!