Stuck

I feel stuck. I am losing my hope of ever being thin. Maybe this is the weight I will be forever. I don't want to be, I mean, my knees hurt and I seriously can't stand the overflow above the button of my pants. None of my clothes look cute anymore. I don't know where to find my motivation. I keep saying I don't want to be a fat mom, but I can't seem to get anywhere. I feel so tired after working all morning, then coming home and taking care of the baby, I just can't seem to get on my gazelle or do any exercise. And the gazelle is so easy and easy on my knees. I am just exhausted. I have done a few things right, I am not pigging out late in the night when my husband goes to work, I have done really well not having a lot of 'carbs', I have been drinking my slim fast for breakfast again and bringing what I feel is healthy lunches to work. I am cooking at night and not eating junk or fast food. I seriously just need to focus on exercise. I told myself 25 sit ups, I couldn't even stick to that. I need some motivation from someone, anyone, is there anyone else out there that feels like they are fighting a losing battle?!?!?!
By the way, I was 243.5 today when I weighed. I usually weigh in the morning right when I get out of the shower, but today I just weighed and it is almost 6 at night... does it make a difference when I weigh? I wish...lol

Back to square one

Well, I weighed in this morning, and good news is, I lost three pounds, the mediocre news is, I am back to square one at 240lbs. I am back to my slim fast for breakfast, which I totally slacked on last week, and my husband and I are trying a make-shift Adkins diet. We are cutting pasta, potatoes, rice, and white bread out of our diet. I have really gotten into cooking lately, so it's kind of fun to find new ways to cook veggies. I am a lover of veggies, except peas and brussel sprouts, so I think I can handle a diet without the carbs. Although I LOVE pasta. My husband thinks that it's not really our diet that is keeping my weight around, it's the fact that I don't exercise at all. I am going to do 25 sit ups a night to start. It's something I can do in bed, and it's not an outrageous request of myself. I'm still going to try to reach my goal by the end of the year, although I know I have really got to make some changes now to meet the goal.

Week Three Weigh In

A loss last week, a gain this week. Hello 240's what an unwelcome sight. But I knew this would happen. I have not exercised, I have not cut back on salt, I have not drank more water. Do I really even want to lose this flab around my waist and this huge rear that barely fits in my pants?
If anything, this blog is helping me to realize all the things I don't do. I mean, I can say I want to lose weight all I want, I can say I am dieting all I want, but to really look back and read what I have done to accomplish anything, it helps. Before I had nothing to hold me accountable, just saying I couldn't lose. But this blog helps me to say well, if you did this or that, then you would lose weight! I can do this. By the way, I weighed in at 243 this morning.

4 more days till another weigh in

Well, I think I did ok with the fair in town. I didn't eat anything that was deep fried, well, I had fried mushrooms, but that wasn't as bad as say, a fried twinkie, or a fried candy bar... etc.. I am hoping that all the walking that was done with the fair will pay off. My only problem now is the tortillas sitting in the kitchen, and the oil sitting on the stove waiting for me to fry them up... curse my husband for getting my absolute worst food temptation!!! LOL!! I had tortillas and nachos for dinner tonight... ugh. I was doing so good! Well, I am not giving up. I have 4 more days, and all I need is two more pounds to come off. Seriously, if I could just change my salt habit up, I KNOW I could get two pounds off. It's the little changes, and as I sit here writing this, I am thinking that this means I am conscious of what I need to do, so if I don't do it, I need to figure out why...


I went to get a sweat suit today, was excited to get some more elastic pants since I can't wear maternity...lol I'm not really wearing maternity still, but those jeans with the expanding belly area are the best things ever invented, it was really hard to give those up! I wanted to actually buy some new jeans today, but I decided I would wait until I lost enough weight that I could fit an 18, and it not be tight. 18... that is depressing, but gotta start somewhere. My goal is to get into a 12 or 14. I mean that is not so unrealistic!! I could have said 6 or 8!! (But why get my hopes up...lol) Anyway, I'm excited to wear my new comfy jogging suit tomorrow... maybe the attire will motivate me to take a walk...

2 FOR WEEK 2!!!!

I am proud to report, I weighed in at 238.5 this morning! I lost my two pounds for the week. I am still behind 2 from the first week, but I can make that up. I have to admit, I was really scared to get on the scale this morning. I mean, I had not exercised at ALL. I told myself I would walk, because I really did enjoy the ONE walk I took last Friday. But I haven't done anything exercise wise. I have however, been a lot more conscious of what I am putting in my mouth. I have cut out the fast food, made healthier meals, stopped (for the most part) pigging out when my husband was asleep or at work, and have done a fairly good job sticking to the slimfast. If I add exercise and cut back on my salt, and drink more water, I think I will be in GREAT shape for weight loss. It all takes getting use to, and no one changes over night, so I am going to just go at my body's pace. I can say, I was trying to drink more water, and that is HARD to do!!! I don't know why drinking water is so difficult? But yeah for me and my two pounds, hopefully I will never see them again. Hopefully I will never see anything in the 240 range again! Hello 230's!!!

Friday Free For ALL!!!

I wish free for all (especially with all that fried fair food in town now!)... I have been eating really well this week. But that walking I was talking about.. ummm... no comment? I almost weighed this morning just to see, but I didn't, last Friday I was down a pound and a half and got a little over confident I guess, so this time, I am not going to peek. I actually was feeling thinner today, until I put on my jeans. At least they buttoned, even if it was a struggle. Don't you hate when you have a pooch above AND below your button on your pants??? sigh....