Purpose

Well, I am finally back to where I was before I had my 5 pound gain. I am cool with the gain, I know I was not paying as much attention to what I was consuming, made some bad choices, and enjoyed every minute. But hey, guess what, I am back on track, making some good choices, paying attention to what I am consuming, AND enjoying every minute. Do you pray? I pray a lot.. I say little prayers all day long sometimes. The other night, I was saying my prayers, and asking God to really give me the strength to stick to getting to my goal weight. God talked back. He told me He had a plan, that when I reached the weight that I needed to be, I would be lead to do something really special. He didn't say what it was. I suppose because what is the point of telling me something awesome, if I never get there to experience or fulfill it. In any case, this has been some motivation to me. Now I have a real purpose to doing what I am doing. Let me tell you, I am currently a stay at home mom. I feel blessed and lucky to be able to spend so much time with my kids. However, I am going crazy. I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I have tried to occupy any free time by cleaning, scrapbooking, blogging, shopping... I enjoy it, but it's not me. I can't wait until I reach this goal weight, just so I can set out on the mission God has for me. I know it is going to be something time consuming, I feel like He has hinted around at that. But I can't wait to have more to do than be a stay at home mom. I hope that doesn't sound bad, because I love my kids and family more than ANYTHING, but I need more for me too. The last thing I want to mention is Joyce Meyer. I love watching her. She is funny and inspiring and has this gift to talk to people about God and what he can do. Lately she has been talking about the fruit of the Spirit. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self control. (A great guide in what you should teach your own children, might I add) In any case, she was saying the key to the fruit is Self Control, and went on to tell how that ties in to all the other fruit... but what really talked to me, since I am so focused on my diet right now, was the way she talked about self control on what you are eating. She said, if you think about a hot fudge sundae, you tell yourself you want one, you think about it all day, you WILL end up getting one that night. You have to have control over your thoughts. If you are not hungry, don't let yourself think about food, control it. If you are use to eating at night time, go to bed, read, crochet, find something to do besides watch tv, it is too easy to munch and watch tv. I am a night snacker, and that is the hardest time for me not to over indulge. I have started going to bed and reading, and at 9:30, my girl Joyce comes on, and after that it's the news, then I go to bed. A new routine. Find a purpose, other than wanting to be healthy, find a purpose of what you can do once you lose your weight. I know at my weight now, there is no way I could run, 50 pounds down the road, I could probably do a 5k... or at least train for one. Find a purpose.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can

OK, so I must be real here... For the last three weeks, I have drank more than I should have, (not compulsively, c'mon now...haha I went to two weddings, a concert, and had a parents night out, which without kids all were opportunities to over indulge) I don't get out much at all. In fact, these last three weeks I have gotten to do more things, without kids, then I have all year. So, these last three weeks, I have not done so well with my decision making when it comes to food. (I also should add there was a trip to the Tulsa State Fair, which we all know involves fried food) My first week on hiatus, I gained less than a pound, my second week, I lost 2.2 pounds and my third week... drum roll please... I gained a whopping 5 pounds. So now that I am back in the 220's, a place where I said I would never go again, how do I feel? A little disappointed, but I kind of expected it, just not that much of a gain. However, I am still super motivated, and know that I will be back on track this week. I can start excercising again and tracking my food, and things will be fine. I am thinking, i will be down 10 pounds by Halloween... you just wait and see.