Nothing new....

I haven't posted in a few weeks, but mainly because I have nothing new and exciting to say. It seems every week I was oh yeah! Down three pounds! Oh no! Gained three pounds! So I thought I would spare you of my up and down three pound story. I think I may just have to break down and join weight watchers after the new year. Seriously, something has to be done. I mean I don't feel like I am GIGANTIC but I do feel like my butt and thighs have been over extended. It's so hard to find pants, I mean the waist usually fits ok, IF I can get them up over the hips! I keep wanting to go get some new clothes, but my husband reminds me every time I mention it, "you said no more new clothes until you lost weight" I know I know!!! Thanks for reminding me, dear. I haven't been on the scale in awhile, but like I said before, I am sure it is nothing exciting. My clothes don't feel any looser, so can't be anything exciting...
Let's just make it through the end of the year, even though 25 pound goal is now out of sight, and make a resolution to shed some pounds.... like the rest of the world always does!!! Only this year, don't lie to yourself about it and really stick with it!!!

Here I am again....

Well I am back to my exciting 239... I can do this, I can. Even with Thanksgiving two days away, I know I can try to control myself. Holidsy season is such a challange, but I have made this a big enough challange since I started so what's the difference now??? I pig out when I want, so Thanksgiving is no different... I did buy some jeans and get my haircut, and I am feeling good about myself, and I will say, although the weight is not coming off as much as I wanted it to, it really helps to feel good about yourself in other ways, like clothes or a new haircut. It gives you that extra umph you need to say to yourself, I feel this good now, imagine I how I will feel if I have this new outfit, new hair, and am 5 more pounds lighter!!!

Yo-Yo

Up and Down Up and Down, back to where I started. blah.

Doing better

I didn't have time to post yet this week, but I did weigh in on Tuesday and was actually down in weight, back to 139. I have really been focusing on the whole mental part of why I am eating. For example, if I think I need to eat after my husband leaves, I think long and hard about if I am really hungry, why I want to eat, why I choose to eat what I am thinking of eating...etc. It's actually worked! And the other day, I wanted to stop and get some cheese sticks soooooooooooo bad at Sonic or Arby's, I knew I wasn't really hungry, I just wanted the cheese and grease. Anyway, I had to make a conscious effort to switch lanes of the road so I was in the opposite lane as the entrance of the Arby's or Sonic. It worked, I didn't get the cheese sticks...lol Seriously though, it's hard to be conscious of what you are eating, when you are so use to not thinking about any of it and just eating to eat because you like the taste or are bored or whatever. It sounds silly that I have to actually think and justify why I am going to eat, but when you never realized why you ate before it's actually really shocking when you start asking yourself before you open your mouth and insert food...lol

Sigh...

Didn't even bother to get on the scale... I know it isn't a loss, so why depress myself. Seriously, writing about my absolute NO progress every week, how much more aware can I get that what I am doing is not working??? I am obviously ignoring the fact that I need to try harder... there I said it, are you listening to your fingers???

Stuck

I feel stuck. I am losing my hope of ever being thin. Maybe this is the weight I will be forever. I don't want to be, I mean, my knees hurt and I seriously can't stand the overflow above the button of my pants. None of my clothes look cute anymore. I don't know where to find my motivation. I keep saying I don't want to be a fat mom, but I can't seem to get anywhere. I feel so tired after working all morning, then coming home and taking care of the baby, I just can't seem to get on my gazelle or do any exercise. And the gazelle is so easy and easy on my knees. I am just exhausted. I have done a few things right, I am not pigging out late in the night when my husband goes to work, I have done really well not having a lot of 'carbs', I have been drinking my slim fast for breakfast again and bringing what I feel is healthy lunches to work. I am cooking at night and not eating junk or fast food. I seriously just need to focus on exercise. I told myself 25 sit ups, I couldn't even stick to that. I need some motivation from someone, anyone, is there anyone else out there that feels like they are fighting a losing battle?!?!?!
By the way, I was 243.5 today when I weighed. I usually weigh in the morning right when I get out of the shower, but today I just weighed and it is almost 6 at night... does it make a difference when I weigh? I wish...lol

Back to square one

Well, I weighed in this morning, and good news is, I lost three pounds, the mediocre news is, I am back to square one at 240lbs. I am back to my slim fast for breakfast, which I totally slacked on last week, and my husband and I are trying a make-shift Adkins diet. We are cutting pasta, potatoes, rice, and white bread out of our diet. I have really gotten into cooking lately, so it's kind of fun to find new ways to cook veggies. I am a lover of veggies, except peas and brussel sprouts, so I think I can handle a diet without the carbs. Although I LOVE pasta. My husband thinks that it's not really our diet that is keeping my weight around, it's the fact that I don't exercise at all. I am going to do 25 sit ups a night to start. It's something I can do in bed, and it's not an outrageous request of myself. I'm still going to try to reach my goal by the end of the year, although I know I have really got to make some changes now to meet the goal.